COME ON AND SLAM WELCOME TO THE JAM: THE LIVE-BLOGGING OF SPACE JAM
9PM CST: Okay so I’m down to one copy of this movie. I had another one that I bought off Ebay a couple summers ago, and the back of the Blu-Ray case was littered with “preowned” stickers across the case. I tried to scrap them off and the damn thing incinerated. Thrown the case out, and the disk I guess with it. WHOOPS.
9:02PM CST: We’re off to a killer start here:
9:05PM CST: Damn it, how the hell do I edit anything on here?
9:06PM CST: Figured it out.
9:07PM CST: All my PS4 controllers are dead, and the system needs to update. WWWWWHHHEEEEEEEE
9:15PM CST: Everything is posted to the socials, PS4 is updated, and I have a functioning controller. Oh and I guess Facebook has been removed or something from the hardware. I’m very tired
9:18PM CST: And we’re off:
9:23PM CST: How long does it take to upload a low res photo?
9:28PM CST: Sorry for the low res photos, it’s currently unavailable on streaming and I do not have a capture card. I went back to the opening scene to get some screengrabs. Little did we know on top of all this, he’d come back for another few years as a Bull, come back for a third time as a member of the Washington Wizards, and then become an owner in one of the worst divisions in the NBA.
9:35PM CST: How do you record a whooping 7 wins on a shortened season? EmBEARising
9:42PM CST: Love Danny DeVito, I’m thrilled Sunny in Philadelphia has lasted as long as it has, cartoons are perfect for him imo
9:48PM CST: I’m only eight minutes into this damn thing and I started this a half hour ago, making horrible progress here and my insulin pump is yelling at me that I have a low amount left in the cartridge. Oh and I forgot Snapchat takes photos vertically instead of horizonatal. Screw it, tilt your heads to see this:
10:02PM CST: I wish we had another modern day Bo Jackson, I can’t think of anybody that was excelled in two very different sports. Michael Jordan was legit *BAD* at baseball, I could understand why he wanted to go back to the NBA.
10:04PM CST: god really?
10:?? PM CST: Taking photos of your TV, that features another TV inside of your TV is a sure fire way to confuse yourself. Also I’ve cracked open some Diet Mountain Dew
10:23PM CST: Gross Daffy
10:26PM CST: There’s so much happening here, I’m very confused. Where did that book come from, why is Bugs Bunny doing the Patton speech and how did they decide basketball was the best option. They’re weird alien bugs! They could probably step on them and this whole thing could be over!!
10:37PM CST: The women’s league is a thing too you clowns (S/O to the Washington Mystics) and you could have a BENCH to have more players participating.
10:45PM CST: Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley, two of the greatest to never get a championship ring in the NBA (Ewing got a NCAA championship one) :,(
(Also damn it sucks the Knicks and the Suns are two of the biggest laughingstocks in the NBA rn. I was rooting for Zion to go to the Knicks, it’s a shame they got the 3rd pick. Hopefully this year goes better for them)
10:55PM CST: TFW you’re running on absolutely no sleep, but the powers of Barkley and Ewing are giving you a second wind
10:57PM CST: Dark skies, building crumbling before your eyes, no duh you need help
11:01PM CST: HOLY SHIT
11:05PM CST: So I went golfing with my extended family over the summer. It was a lot of fun, never get to see those folks so it was a fun opportunity to see people. I hadn’t played a full round of 18 hours in like 5 years, and I am truly horrendous at it. I could barely get any distance out of any of my swings. The last shot I took for the day, this bastard ball is FLYING and curving straight to someone’s house. No windows were broken, but there was a very loud *THUD* when the ball smacked into the bricks of the house it hit. If you’re the owner of that house and are currently reading this, I apologize.
11:12PM CST: I wonder how many takes it took for them to give Michael that W there.
11:17PM CST: TAKE PHOTOS HORIZONTALLY, NOT VERTICALLY YOU CCCCLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!
11:20PM CST: You’re right, it’s really outdated green screen effects
11:25PM CST: um… pretty sure Michael should be dead if he’s discombobulated into a basketball. That’s… disturbing on many levels
11:32PM CST: :( is it too late for Barkley to sign with the Bucks? I mean how cool would that be if a 56 year old shot a few baskets in the finals. Think about it
11:38PM CST: Actual lol here. This scene is pretty cute, if these guys or the Walt Disney characters suddenly showed up in my bedroom when I was like three or whatever, I’d be curious to figure out what the hell is going on here too.
11:49PM CST: oh lordie
11:55PM CST: Thank God for subtitles, I couldn’t even hear a damn thing DeVito was saying. Bad, bad audio mixing here (and this music sucks)
11:58PM CST: A team made up of folks less than 6 feet tall, I tried to do this in NBA 2K19, but it wouldn’t let me :( Also, bring back NBA Jam that franchise needs a comeback. Do an All-Star version, IDGAF I don’t the rocket science mechanics to play ball, I like shooting as much as possible on a 2D scale, having the ball go on fire when players where on a hot streak, the rim on the glass breaking, GOD those games were fun.
10/26/19 12:13AM CST: AGAIN, why is the music so damn loud?! Now it’s more than just DeVito’s character I’m having trouble hearing.
12:17AM CST: Just want to take a minute to say there’s some great stuff at SB Nation. Charles Barkley going ringless, the Pretty Good episode where a team beat a college 253–141, the Collapse on the Bulls. They even did a Rewinder episode on this for April Fools. Wonder how many points the Mon-Stars actually scored here if this is being displayed?
12:22AM CST: Bugs definitely put steroids in that bottle, the tap water is a cover. Also Sylvester got shot, how the hell is he in a functioning condition to play rn?
12:27AM CST: They’re back out on the court ready to fight (and there’s a score update, 66–20). My entire mailbox is filled with images I’ve sent to myself from my phone. It’s a lot
12:34AM CST: Bugs, in addition to the performance enhancing drugs that were in that water bottle, pretty sure this is illegal my man
12:40AM CST: We just had someone get suspended from the Knicks for taking the basketball and bonking another player on the head with it. Tweety’s committing LIFETIMES of bans from basketball here
12:43AM CST: Okay I know I’ve been ragging on Bugs for awhile, but man Marvin, you suck at refereeing. How have there not been fouls here!? Wayne Knight is a human pancake now!
12:50AM CST: ugh
12:56AM CST: THE HUMAN ARM IS NOT SUPPOSE TO STRETCH OUT LIKE THAT DOESN’T MATTER THAT WE’RE IN LOONEY TUNE LAND THIS IS FUCKED UP AND IT LOOKS WRONG
1:03AM CST: And the credits start to roll. I get why Michael Jordan was a hot candidate to do this, but man he can not act to save himself (or play baseball). I think with the sequel LeBron James won’t be as cutesie with his accomplishments (that beginning sequence is pretty eye-rolling stuff), but ultimately it’s kind of… a nothing movie? It’s fun seeing the cameos from various basketball players over the years, but a lot of the Green Screen effects to get the animated Looney Tunes characters to interact with Wayne Knight and Jordan just seemed *off* lighting wise and it’s bizarrely racist and sexist in spots?!? I definitely don’t feel like I missed out on something from my childhood here, and I probably won’t be revisiting this one anytime soon.
12:45PM CST: All right so for those of you that don’t know, I made a deal with Jack Riedy that if he hit his goal of $1,000 before his fundraising event for CCH, I would do this. Space Jam’s not a great movie by any stretch of the imagination, but this was a lot of fun, and I’d happily do something like this again. His page is still open for the next week or so and you can donate here:
https://interland3.donorperfect.net/weblink/weblink.aspx?name=E187251&id=101&cfifid=149
